"When we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but are grateful for the abundance that's present....we experience heaven on earth." Sarah Breathnach
I had an impromptu appointment with my Doctor yesterday.
It seems that my symptoms have worsened. No I have not had an attack or a a relapse (thank god!) but my feet are suffering, my ankles are very weak and cannot seem to support my body, my gait is bad, my balance is bad, I am irritable, and my heart is racing and constantly feels like I am in a state of chaotic panic.
We did a blood test to find if anything was wrong. The blood was perfect. No bacteria, perfectly formed cells and strong white blood cells. There was a bit of an issue with the colon but that is always there. My B12 levels were low and I have been getting B12 snots every two days, for a while now. The cells also showed some free radical damage and heightened levels of mental stress.
The doctor said that it was this stress that was causing my symptoms to reappear. I put my body in a state of panic because my mind was in a state of panic. The body was simply reacting. I thought back and realized that this all started last week.
Last week Christine (an employee) fell ill and could not come to work. I had to go in and even though I sat at the cash register most of the time, I noticed a lot of things that were not the way I would have done them. This created an avalanche of thoughts and concerns and inevitably increased my stress levels, I was only at work for two or three days but the stress was enough to send me back, physically, to almost two years ago.
A few posts ago, I talked about stress and MS. My present condition is proof that stress causes MS symptoms to come back stronger. I still feel kind of not right. Even though I meditate daily and do my breathing exercises, eat right, and do everything right but……………..I let stress permeate my world and the effects are quite noticeable.
I am now making a list of all the things that I think need to be fixed or looked at. Once that is done, one thing at a time will be confronted and hopefully, fixed.
I have another appointment on Monday to see if things change. Doctor Chang, put me on a breathing exercise with monitors to measure my heart rate, state of calm and stress.
I just could not get it to a normal. When it did come to a normal, there was no sustainability and it went up again after a short time.
This was my longest appointment ever. I was in there for about an hour and she kept people waiting because of me.
It is quite amazing to see the distance she will go to indentify a problem. So far 99.99999% of the time, she has hit the nail on the head.
It is now up to me to bring myself back to where I was before I went in to work.