Sunday, May 27, 2012

My Stupidity Gene

I have always practiced mindful living towards my good health despite my multiple sclerosis and preach that this is and should always be an ongoing process.

Well, I momentarily stopped practicing what I have always preached.

My move to Nova Scotia has had its challenges and almost two months later, I still do not have the order and organization I desire. This disorder has taken its toll on my eating and drinking habits and I am now paying the price. My consumption of water was reduced drastically just because I was careless and did not remember to drink it regularly. My consumption of potato chips and processed carbohydrates increased, while my intake of protein and vegetables decreased. My stress levels increased, breathing exercises, yoga, meditation and regular physical workouts were all considerably decreased and even almost non-existent.

Last week I noticed a significant decline in my overall well being. My tingling was back and worse than it has ever been, the tightness in my calves and feet was back and worse than it has ever been, my balance was as bad as it was six years ago and I found myself walking into walls and constantly holding on for support, My mental state was and still can I put it...............down in the abyss of the dumps.

Could it have just been a coincidence that my carelessness in eating and drinking and ignoring my mental state, and my poor physical condition were not connected in any way? Definitely not! They were and are completely connected. It is a cause and effect. Action is equal to reaction

I found a lab that conducts the live blood cell analysis and just had a test on Friday. Did I expect a good result? Should it have been a good result after all my carelessness and mindful ignorance? Whom am I kidding? I got exactly what I deserved. The blood showed that the red cells had excessive clumping leading to poor circulation (thus my tingling and pain), the drastic increase in existence of bacteria increasing my craving for snacks and foods that were bad for me, and I paid the price for my ignoring my health by getting and feeling worse.

There are no reasons only bad excuses.
Do we ever learn from our mistakes? Human beings have a ‘stupidity’ gene and mine just became dominant.

Now begins the arduous task of fixing the wrongs. It is not easy because bad habits are easy to form while changing these into good habits takes time and conscious effort. Righting the wrongs is not an impossible task but an unnecessary exercise which could have been easily avoided with a little more care.

24 hours after trying to make things better by increasing my water, eliminating all carbs, increasing my meditation and exercise, I already felt better. One guess as to what I did next? Eat corn chips (!&%!&%!&%) and today all my pain has returned.

This stupidity gene has to be crushed! This is a hard lesson and I wonder if I or anyone else, will ever learn from these mistakes!